A first draft of a new poem that's part of a new series. I'm excited. It's going to be about masculinity in the 21st century, feminism, love, sex, interpellation of desire, sex, and strength. I'm trying to poetically strengthen my thoughts on feminism. Hope you like it. I'm trying to be better about posting more poems more often.

Also, I'm learning how to DJ. Or at least trying. It's an exciting new journey.

Be A Man, Part 1
Whispers

I cover my mirror with vaseline,
unwilling to bear my reflection.
I’m a monster in my own eyes.
Let me explain.
Understanding comes crashing
at the age of thirteen –
A quick smile and a full beard,
we loved Mr. Wood like our own fathers.
He was a roadie for Led Zeppelin
in the Sixties,
or so he said.
I don’t know if I should trust him,
anymore.
Mr. Wood, beloved science teacher
convicted of molesting female students.
Like a phalanx, we closed ranks
turned our pubescent spears outwards,
and raised our shields

against his victims.
We loved Mr. Wood like our own fathers.
Those girls were trouble,
stupid, full of gossip, intimidation tactics,
revenge for the D he gave them.
He gave us all Ds – sometimes – why did they have to
go and get the last good teacher fired?

Shame. I smear the mirror’s image
and watch myself dissolve.
We were young.
As if that was an excuse.
Why do we always hold hands with villains?

He was fired and stripped of his license.
If I saw him today I would
grab him by his shoulders and say,
“Why did you kill yourself in my mind?
“Why did you slaughter a hero?”

Still so self-centered
I can only think of my own loss.
Childhood cut up.

I shared a locker with one of the girls.
Her curves fed my adolescent fantasies.
I can no longer think of myself as guiltless.
I was a spectator, but I threw stones.

6/25/06