Crap.

Judging from what I heard from studentuniverse.com, I can't change my plane flight at all. That leaves me with a set exit date: June 27th. That's it. Game Over. I can no longer respond to the question, "When are you leaving?" with a vague, unsure, "Late June, early July" with any shred of honesty anymore.

And just once I've settled in here, I feel the imminent pull of leaving. I've built up so many things here, I've met people that I feel like I could be friends with for the rest of my life, and I'm INVOLVED here. Goddammit, the only thing I hate more than leaving is leaving things UNDONE. FUCK.

A month ago, all I wanted to do was go home. No offense to all you guys reading this, but now all I want to do is stay.

Viki told me not to think about how I'm going to lose things, just enjoy them while I'm here. Well here goes nothing. Living in the moment...

The key to acting.

The key to pretending.

The key to belief in the imaginary reality.

That doesn't really exist.

And when you step off that stage, or onto that plane...

It all fades.