Violence and Beauty

Saturday, January 08, 2005

Read this poem at a slam. Got a 25 out of a possible 30. This was the lowest score received out of all 11 poets. After it was done, I could feel the audience pull away from me, some applauded politely, and some simply sat in silence.

Make your own decision. Draw your own conclusions.

Genderscan

Boy in a dress. Boy in a dress.
Dyke and queen, gender fiend.
Faggot in heat. Faggot defeat.
Words mutate
into images into boundaries into human shields.

We are faceless martyrs gagged with labels –
Self-stealing stickers applied with magazine lip gloss
burned shut in a television torture rack flash.
We are sucked empty like cathode vaccuum tubes,
opaque like backlit screens,
broken like rabbit ear antennas rendered deaf –
but we’re still receiving suicide signals.

The ones and zeroes are etched in double helixes
between our lips
and between our legs.
Identity dies doused in gasoline.
We shroud self in flammable fashion,
bury it in a bombshell,
and drive it to school –
a processing plant to vacuum pack ideas of boys versus girls,
a rumble in the suburban jungle
where fists are thrown with slurs
and the knockout punch – rejection – is the real killer.

Strike anywhere, they say.
Image is nothing but a formula,
and fire is just a triangle.
But a controlled burn becomes an inferno
when you underestimate the fuel.
We are the silent wildfires smoldering
in every small town.
We are the feverish, guilt-split children
shackled to Sunday school rules.
We are the spark in the closet,
dying to devour the walls that hold us.
We are the lava seething six inches
beneath the streets of every city.

But fighting fire with fire
only scorches souls.
Revolution is a deluge.
Raindrops reveal our righteous selves
and wash away the slime of sacrificial living.
Like the sea caressing the shore at sunrise
lovers climb aboard one another to bask
in the fresh sweetness of self-acceptance.
Clean at last, clean at last, thank god almighty, we are clean at last!
For forty days and forty nights,
the ark is in our hearts and
we will bathe in
tears joyfully shed.

And at the end of the flood,
smoke and steam shatter the sunlight,
so all I can see
is a rainbow.

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Thinking late thoughts early in the morning, I wrote this...

Quilts

When I was a child,
my mother sewed a quilt for me.
One side cotton sheet soft
covered in
pink and
orange squares.
Love’s matrix.
The other rough with
a million patches,
gaudy and gorgeous,
rough flannel. Reminders
of life’s ragged side.

When I escaped home
for college’s refuge,
I was gifted with
a comforter adorned
with black and white stripes.
Reminders of prison, personality,
right and wrong. The flip side
was jet black.

As a man, my first girl
and I would lay naked between the two.
Love’s smoothness above, prison bars below.
Laying together, we drew apart
like an old seam, til no
patches could cover the rupture.

Last night, I slept with love’s
rough side against my skin.
It’s a reminder.
1/4/04

Monday, January 03, 2005

here's another old one. Comments are welcome.

For the Birds

Proud as a peacock, green-blue eyes
exploding – feathers flying
over Olympus, you and me –
heavenly bodies in motion.

Tonight I will lose myself –
fingers tripled, tongue,
heart, damaged mind
-in you.

Please
take good
care of them.

Proud as a peacock, you know
how to crush mountains,
Hera’s hands moving
like wind wielding
sand, blasting stone to
fragments. My old walls
are Troy’s embers blowing from beaches
to sink into oceans
of white foam – Your one girl army
will sail west
with me still on the shore.
Mercy. Tonight, your nails
ask divine questions
in my back. Our tongues transmit
letters without language.
Tonight our smoke
will fill hillside temples
and kiss the lips of heaven.

Tonight we’re together,
proud as peacocks, majestic cockatoos
singing songs without melody,
strutting without rhythm.

Punishment. Proud as peacocks, between two suns
we rend tapestries and restring
the loom with threads of our hair –
auburn and midnight, warp and weft.
Which Fate wove a Penelope delay into
my heart’s oddyssey? Casual expectations
are your Artemis arrows that slay
all hopeful suitors.

Proud as a peacock, I built black wings
with spit and flightless feathers –
Will I rise like your
followers’ smoke sacrifices
floating fast from hillside temples
burning with the desire to please you?
Do I own an Icarus’s fate –
to rise on makeshift wings to kiss your
Phoebus chariot and explode like Greek fire?

Proud as a peacock, I know I am
a Sisyphus fool, clever
enough to delude himself
that he could cheat death.
Hades’ hand will strike foul feathers
from my back. Man was
not meant to fly.
From tonight til the
tomorrow after eternity,
I will walk over dead soil,
the hills at my feet.
10/25/04

Sunday, January 02, 2005

Hey guys, hope you had a good Chrismahanukwanzaa and an even better New Year's. I have some new poems for you.

Read some Rumi. Felt inspired.

Connection

How can the dragonfly
know the lily pad?

He must land,
and stay a while
to listen
to the sound of the pond.

1/2/05

The River

The house is finally quiet at night.
New year celebrations
have worn our bodies.

Even with a mirror,
it is hard to tell how long
your hair is getting
when it curls under, twists
dreaming of itself.

This is the nature of time.
1/2/05