I got it. Kat Henry called me last night. I'm in. Laramie Project and no life here we come! :)

This continet is using the carrot on the stick to keep me from sinking into utter depression. Every week, it's the same thing:

Find one thing to keep you going through the week, focus on that thing, get through your shit, move on. Since the beginning of the year, that was Electronic Artists Society where I was learning to work turntables. For the last week and a half, it's been the Laramie Project auditions. Now it's seeing Tara on Tuesday, for some miniscule chance of something happening (and if it does, my heart getting smashed again in three months. Christ, why do I do this to myself?)

I don't love anyone here. I never realized what a large component of my life that was until it was gone. I might not learn a damn thing about Australia or this part of the world, but I'm learning more about myself here than I ever thought I would.

So basically, I'm a few steps away from depression. How the hell do I mood swing like this. I realize also, that I like attention WAY too much. Am I becoming an actor because I just love attention? That's the wrong reason to do it, isn't it? Yesterday, I was so happy. Today I just want to go home.

I had a brain fart in European Modernist Drama Performance today while we were checking out canes and such for props for certain characters, and I thought "Oh, I should go home and get some of my grandfather's old ca- wait a minute. Shit." And I realized again, just how damn far away from home that I am.

Watching "Lost in Translation" didn't help either. An hour and a half of my life that I'm just not going to get back. I think I went into it with WAY too high expectations though, after what Matt told me about it. This pretty much sums up how I feel:

Typhoon921 (11:57:51 PM): btw this country... you need a car in it
Typhoon921 (11:57:54 PM): or it's like south plainfield
Typhoon921 (11:57:57 PM): i have no car
JE Darkness (11:58:03 PM): oh man
Typhoon921 (11:58:03 PM): you remember high school
Typhoon921 (11:58:04 PM): you do the math.
JE Darkness (11:58:10 PM): LMAO

I feel like I'm on top of the world right now. I feel totally unsinkable. I feel very sure that I managed to score a part in the Laramie Project. I think my audition went really well. I ran into the director after the audition, and she definitely wanted to be able to contact me, I think. ANd since it's one of those "we'll call you" things, I think I got it.

Also, I was hanging out with Don and the EAS crew tonight, and that's always pretty fun. I dug it. I helped them pack up and spun a record. Don also went into the waiting room for the try out and tried talking me up. He said that they said that they were really impressed that I bothered to do a warm up, and that I'm taking it so seriously. I'm glad they noticed, though that wasn't why I did it. We'll see! :)

This is the first time I think I've been really genuinely joyful and very happy since I've gotten here. Even if I don't get a part, I'll feel like I did my best.

Tonight, more rehearsal. Such is life. Rock on! :)

Tonight's my Laramie Project audition. I've crafted, I've used Uta Hagen's 6 steps, and I think I'm totally ready, or at least as ready as I can be with a week's worth of work. I'm excited. It feels ready. Wish me luck! :)

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Low
Schizoid:	Low
Schizotypal:	Moderate
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	High
Narcissistic:	Moderate
Avoidant:	Low
Dependent:	Low
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Low
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

ooooooooooh boy... so why are you guys hanging out with me again?

Hey guys,

Here by popular demand! You can hear my down under stories right here, even if I'm away or offline.

Right now? I finished working on crafting my monologue for the Laramie Project auditions this Thursday. I think I'm almost set. I just need to work on a bit more memorization, and keeping it up all through the two minute speech. This is a bit psycho, most notably because I'm already in the "Resistible Rise of Arturo Ui" which will finish up the week after Easter Break. I'm mad, it's true. I think I'm going to get it though. I have a really good feeling, and I've been preparing for over a week for it.

The weather is really cool here in Brisbane because a cyclone (which is a hurricane spinning the opposite way) hit the northern part of Australia. No super insane damage or anything as far as I know, and if it cools things off a bit, I can deal with that. I need more shorts, it's official. I have a pair of Dickie's shorts (which cost like 100 bucks here! Madness!), two pairs of cut-offs, and some work out shorts. It's NOT ENOUGH!

Especially since I'm going to be going to Cairns (pronounced: CANS) for Easter Break to become certified as a SCUBA DIVER! and then I'm going to see the RAINFOREST! and the BEACH! How COOL IS THAT?!

Yeah. I thought so too!

I'm also learning how to DJ here as part of the Electronic Artists Society club. It should be fun. There's a contest at the end of June where we get to compete for a pair of turntables and a mixer. Should be cool! I plan on winning. :)

That's all for now. Stay tuned for the latest.

Current Songs:
Smack My Bitch Up - Prodigy
Dead Leaves on the Dirty Ground - White Stripes
This Is A Forgery - Dashboard Confessional
Mother Mary - Far
M. Shepard - Thursday